dying days

the skin I’m trying to shed is built on bruises

go don’t go

i am a selfish ghost

i will miss you the most

a final memento from our dying days

one last scar

the same place where the other one faded

the beautiful one you always hated

time is relentless

sands down your edges

leaves you defenseless

steals all your pain

the years flying past you

faster and faster

before becomes after

you’re stuck on this train

until the memories are all that remain

watch the color drain

afternoon shadows seduced every day by evening haze

electric light

once again the sun has retreated

the night remains undefeated

i’m through with screaming out my lungs

what’s the sense in losing my voice

all these useless tears that i’ve cried

couldn’t change the past

believe me i tried

can’t you hear me calling for your help

i need your tender, loving arms

don’t want nobody else

take me alive or don’t take me at all

tell me to jump and then watch me fall

in love all over again

if you can hear my voice come running

as fast as you can

there’s someone here who means to do grave harm

to your forever man

open up your heart, cause you’ve got an army

ten million strong

they make the bridges shake and sway

when they sing their song

take me alive

take me alive or don’t take me at all

don’t roll your eyes cause that’s when I fall

in love all over again

you’re gone from my house but you’re still here in my room

it’s just the cold comfort of your cheap perfume

there’s a fatal harmonic when hearts beat in time

the elegant wreckage that gets left behind

open your heart, ten million strong

the bridge is on fire but i still hear your song

open your heart, ten million strong

there goes the bridge, there went your song

trying not to scream

i am trying

trying not to scream

i am doing all that i can do

i feel the hands of all this time

tearing me to pieces

i wish i could handle this

a little more like you

the repetition of it all

is terrifying

the repetition

all these hypotheticals

clutter up my shelf

reality is less than i had hoped

trapped without a soul to blame

staring at myself

i suppose that we all learn to cope

the repetition of it all

is terrifying

the repetition

i wanted so much more

they promised so much more than this

now i am trying to not to scream

i think i just saw my own ghost

east of the river

and i’m looking out at hartford

on the western horizon

twenty miles seemed so far back in high school

and i’m parked here on your street

cause you’ve got the best view of the city

and i’m looking out at hartford while i wait for you

when i was 16 i said all that i wanted was you

i wish it were true

gets so dark at night here

as the city gets brighter

and i’m watching all the headlights turn the highway

into some kind of snake

the commuters head home now

they drive east of the river

as the kids in my hometown all plan their escape

when i was 16 i said all that i wanted was you

i wish it were true

all of the kids in my hometown

they just can’t wait til the day they get out

how can we blame them that’s exactly what we used to say

and baby just maybe we’re still the same

just trying to get back there to see if it’s all changed

cause home’s now a haven

from all of the messes we’ve made

tonight we’ve got no plan

tomorrow’s the same

so i’ll pick you up at 8 o’clock and we’ll drive around

stuck in this town

i show up at 7 and i just

sit in my car and watch hartford

cause hartford ain’t much but it’s more than this town

when i was 16 i said all that i wanted was you

we both had to know it wasn’t true

all of the kids in my hometown

they just can’t wait til the day they get out

how can i blame them that’s exactly what i used to say

even though part of me still feels the same

i’ve got to get back

just to see how much i’ve changed

cause home’s now a haven

from all of these messes i’ve made

and hartford ain’t much but it’s more than this town

the storm

she blows into town and blows my mind - there’s just something about the way she takes her time - she listens with intent to every word i say - and when i find i’m at a loss you gotta know she lights the way

she’s an overcast horizon - she’s the thunder bearing down - she is calm, she is still, she is warm - and when it’s raining in my bed - she’s the storm

she’s a poem, she’s a painting, she’s a sculpture, she’s a song - she’s the fiddle in the harmony - i sing along - she’s as quiet as a shadow in the middle of the night - she’s a spinning silhouette living just behind my eyes

she’s a downpour in a dry spell - a river bound to flood - the fog i cannot cut through - she’s the taste of rain upon my tongue

she’s the current of warm air beneath the bird - she’s a lightning strike, a second, then a third - she takes me in and wears me out - she washes off the pain - and every time she’s in my bed she brings the rain

queen of broken hearts

when did this become do or die

and just because they’re selling

doesn’t mean that you have to buy

looking for your way out

well baby there’s the door

you don’t need to waste your time

someplace you’ve been before

i’m tired of dancing around each other

i’m tired of avoiding a fight

the unmade bed inside my head

can’t be slept in no more

not even one more night

deny it all you want

you’re broken up inside

you swallow all the pain

but you won’t touch

the pride

now here’s a bandage girl

i hope it stops the blood

would you choose

a life less scarred

even if you could

i don’t think that you would

now we’re both

spitting teeth

into the bathroom sink

i should have just walked out

and let you call me weak

the queen of broken hearts

has come to kill the king

so choose your weapon

choke up and take a swing

i’m tired of dancing around each other

pretending everything is all right

the unmade bed inside my head

can’t

be slept in no more

not even

one more night

curse the sun for rising

casting your shadow across my day

when we walk we walk in parallel

consequence married to action

truth unashamed in the dark

whisper your history one last time

when i’m gone burn my body to ash

place what remains right here where you found me

curse the counting of hours

wasted potential and wasted time

we live out each day in parallel

don’t mistake falling for flying

gravity comes for us all

you bruise and break like anyone else

when you’re gone you’ll be free

to dance in the night with the stars

the stuff we are made of

i’ve never seen the light fall into place

the way the sun lands on your face and your shoulders

when i’m gone burn my body to ash

place what remains right here where you touched me

curse the moon as it rises

left to the mercy of poisoned dreams

two crooked lines left lying in parallel

parallel

i take the long, cold ride to town

only when i must

but when i do it’s with my head held high

from every doorway that i pass

i feel a burning glare

another pair of wounded, hateful eyes

nothing they can say to me

not a single word

can change the fact that i now know this truth

at the end of every day

i only long to crawl into our bed

the answer to my calling which is you

the coward’s wife

the blood did turn that hill to mud

with fire raining down

and death would only flinch when it saw love

so carry all the guilt and shame

and carry every dead man’s name

but carry them to me not heaven above

i will bear the hatred

the cursing and the spite because

i have more than a lie to hold and keep

the tragedy is that there weren’t

more of you who realized

no man can fill a hole that’s dug too deep

and in the quiet darkness

i lie still as night

you whisper prayers of mercy for your sins

and as your son begins to stir

you rise to comfort him

i say my own that you’ll learn to forgive

yourself and all the rest of us

for the folly of believing such

that courage chooses death instead of life

yes i could be the widow

of a hero they write songs about

but i would sooner stay a coward’s wife

there is no winning war my love, no sense of peace or justice to be found, there’s only you and all the ghosts, you can’t bury in the ground

a different time

you catch my eye the same way you catch me off guard

think i’ll stay for a little while, can i get you something from the bar

touch my hand - the circuit’s complete when my feet hit the floor

is that neon dancing in your eyes or is that something more

i know this seems promising and we’ve got all night

we can whisper our histories til they turn up the lights

your cover has drawn me in i want to read every page, every line

i just wish you’d come along at a different time

call my bluff - you say that you’re ok to drive

you tongue tie me up - you ask why i question the signs

you can say “if not now when?” but please understand

the wounds that i’ve caused are the kind that don’t mend

i’m just so scared - what if i do it all again

i don’t want to know if that’s just the kind of man that i am

so it goes - one last regret for the fire

guess i’ll stay for another round - one last drink to help forget your smile

but your absence is sobering and now i’ve got all night

to remember that look in your eye until they turn up the lights

you are an uncommon word in search of a rhyme

i just wish you’d come along at a different time

you caught my eye, the same way you caught me off guard