dying days
the skin I’m trying to shed is built on bruises
go don’t go
i am a selfish ghost
i will miss you the most
a final memento from our dying days
one last scar
the same place where the other one faded
the beautiful one you always hated
time is relentless
sands down your edges
leaves you defenseless
steals all your pain
the years flying past you
faster and faster
before becomes after
you’re stuck on this train
until the memories are all that remain
watch the color drain
afternoon shadows seduced every day by evening haze
electric light
once again the sun has retreated
the night remains undefeated
i’m through with screaming out my lungs
what’s the sense in losing my voice
all these useless tears that i’ve cried
couldn’t change the past
believe me i tried
can’t you hear me calling for your help
i need your tender, loving arms
don’t want nobody else
take me alive or don’t take me at all
tell me to jump and then watch me fall
in love all over again
if you can hear my voice come running
as fast as you can
there’s someone here who means to do grave harm
to your forever man
open up your heart, cause you’ve got an army
ten million strong
they make the bridges shake and sway
when they sing their song
take me alive
take me alive or don’t take me at all
don’t roll your eyes cause that’s when I fall
in love all over again
you’re gone from my house but you’re still here in my room
it’s just the cold comfort of your cheap perfume
there’s a fatal harmonic when hearts beat in time
the elegant wreckage that gets left behind
open your heart, ten million strong
the bridge is on fire but i still hear your song
open your heart, ten million strong
there goes the bridge, there went your song
trying not to scream
i am trying
trying not to scream
i am doing all that i can do
i feel the hands of all this time
tearing me to pieces
i wish i could handle this
a little more like you
the repetition of it all
is terrifying
the repetition
all these hypotheticals
clutter up my shelf
reality is less than i had hoped
trapped without a soul to blame
staring at myself
i suppose that we all learn to cope
the repetition of it all
is terrifying
the repetition
i wanted so much more
they promised so much more than this
now i am trying to not to scream
i think i just saw my own ghost
east of the river
and i’m looking out at hartford
on the western horizon
twenty miles seemed so far back in high school
and i’m parked here on your street
cause you’ve got the best view of the city
and i’m looking out at hartford while i wait for you
when i was 16 i said all that i wanted was you
i wish it were true
gets so dark at night here
as the city gets brighter
and i’m watching all the headlights turn the highway
into some kind of snake
the commuters head home now
they drive east of the river
as the kids in my hometown all plan their escape
when i was 16 i said all that i wanted was you
i wish it were true
all of the kids in my hometown
they just can’t wait til the day they get out
how can we blame them that’s exactly what we used to say
and baby just maybe we’re still the same
just trying to get back there to see if it’s all changed
cause home’s now a haven
from all of the messes we’ve made
tonight we’ve got no plan
tomorrow’s the same
so i’ll pick you up at 8 o’clock and we’ll drive around
stuck in this town
i show up at 7 and i just
sit in my car and watch hartford
cause hartford ain’t much but it’s more than this town
when i was 16 i said all that i wanted was you
we both had to know it wasn’t true
all of the kids in my hometown
they just can’t wait til the day they get out
how can i blame them that’s exactly what i used to say
even though part of me still feels the same
i’ve got to get back
just to see how much i’ve changed
cause home’s now a haven
from all of these messes i’ve made
and hartford ain’t much but it’s more than this town
the storm
she blows into town and blows my mind - there’s just something about the way she takes her time - she listens with intent to every word i say - and when i find i’m at a loss you gotta know she lights the way
she’s an overcast horizon - she’s the thunder bearing down - she is calm, she is still, she is warm - and when it’s raining in my bed - she’s the storm
she’s a poem, she’s a painting, she’s a sculpture, she’s a song - she’s the fiddle in the harmony - i sing along - she’s as quiet as a shadow in the middle of the night - she’s a spinning silhouette living just behind my eyes
she’s a downpour in a dry spell - a river bound to flood - the fog i cannot cut through - she’s the taste of rain upon my tongue
she’s the current of warm air beneath the bird - she’s a lightning strike, a second, then a third - she takes me in and wears me out - she washes off the pain - and every time she’s in my bed she brings the rain
queen of broken hearts
when did this become do or die
and just because they’re selling
doesn’t mean that you have to buy
looking for your way out
well baby there’s the door
you don’t need to waste your time
someplace you’ve been before
i’m tired of dancing around each other
i’m tired of avoiding a fight
the unmade bed inside my head
can’t be slept in no more
not even one more night
deny it all you want
you’re broken up inside
you swallow all the pain
but you won’t touch
the pride
now here’s a bandage girl
i hope it stops the blood
would you choose
a life less scarred
even if you could
i don’t think that you would
now we’re both
spitting teeth
into the bathroom sink
i should have just walked out
and let you call me weak
the queen of broken hearts
has come to kill the king
so choose your weapon
choke up and take a swing
i’m tired of dancing around each other
pretending everything is all right
the unmade bed inside my head
can’t
be slept in no more
not even
one more night
curse the sun for rising
casting your shadow across my day
when we walk we walk in parallel
consequence married to action
truth unashamed in the dark
whisper your history one last time
when i’m gone burn my body to ash
place what remains right here where you found me
curse the counting of hours
wasted potential and wasted time
we live out each day in parallel
don’t mistake falling for flying
gravity comes for us all
you bruise and break like anyone else
when you’re gone you’ll be free
to dance in the night with the stars
the stuff we are made of
i’ve never seen the light fall into place
the way the sun lands on your face and your shoulders
when i’m gone burn my body to ash
place what remains right here where you touched me
curse the moon as it rises
left to the mercy of poisoned dreams
two crooked lines left lying in parallel
parallel
i take the long, cold ride to town
only when i must
but when i do it’s with my head held high
from every doorway that i pass
i feel a burning glare
another pair of wounded, hateful eyes
nothing they can say to me
not a single word
can change the fact that i now know this truth
at the end of every day
i only long to crawl into our bed
the answer to my calling which is you
the coward’s wife
the blood did turn that hill to mud
with fire raining down
and death would only flinch when it saw love
so carry all the guilt and shame
and carry every dead man’s name
but carry them to me not heaven above
i will bear the hatred
the cursing and the spite because
i have more than a lie to hold and keep
the tragedy is that there weren’t
more of you who realized
no man can fill a hole that’s dug too deep
and in the quiet darkness
i lie still as night
you whisper prayers of mercy for your sins
and as your son begins to stir
you rise to comfort him
i say my own that you’ll learn to forgive
yourself and all the rest of us
for the folly of believing such
that courage chooses death instead of life
yes i could be the widow
of a hero they write songs about
but i would sooner stay a coward’s wife
there is no winning war my love, no sense of peace or justice to be found, there’s only you and all the ghosts, you can’t bury in the ground
a different time
you catch my eye the same way you catch me off guard
think i’ll stay for a little while, can i get you something from the bar
touch my hand - the circuit’s complete when my feet hit the floor
is that neon dancing in your eyes or is that something more
i know this seems promising and we’ve got all night
we can whisper our histories til they turn up the lights
your cover has drawn me in i want to read every page, every line
i just wish you’d come along at a different time
call my bluff - you say that you’re ok to drive
you tongue tie me up - you ask why i question the signs
you can say “if not now when?” but please understand
the wounds that i’ve caused are the kind that don’t mend
i’m just so scared - what if i do it all again
i don’t want to know if that’s just the kind of man that i am
so it goes - one last regret for the fire
guess i’ll stay for another round - one last drink to help forget your smile
but your absence is sobering and now i’ve got all night
to remember that look in your eye until they turn up the lights
you are an uncommon word in search of a rhyme
i just wish you’d come along at a different time
you caught my eye, the same way you caught me off guard